Let This Be The Last Time

Blah I have to find some consistency in this if I want this to work.
I need it to work but some how I can't find the determination to keep it going. 

Like isn't it sad...............Die young of diabetes or a heart attack............not enough?........the fact that I hate going out because I don't want to be the balloon walking........like this should be enough but in truth it really is not.


 Not to be vain but before all I wanted to do was to be seen. In my eyes I thought I had accomplished it so I always walked with my head up and never double thought that someone was standing there judging me for my appearance. If anything I continue in this journey it to be find that confidence again to be vain.

But here is another story about how I failed.....................

This is my sweet sister who will be turning a lovely 15

I have a lovely sister that will be turning 15 this August.

In Latin tradition to celebrate that we have a Quinceañera. 

This is when the girl debuts herself as a woman for the first time as she is no longer considered to be a child anymore. 

But as you can tell we had long been considering her a young woman before her prime. 

This chick can make any head turn and I will admit sometimes I get jealous cuz it sometimes seem like a secret gift that god gave to her. 


As to my surprise she asked me to be a part of her court, which for me is a huge honor. and til this day am so grateful for choosing me to be in the court. For her court it will consist of 7 girls and 8 boys.

In a rush to things that last time I visited home, we went shopping for the girls of the court. Before we got there she already has the dressed in mind being that she had seend it prior to us going shopping.

So we go to the dress shop and turns out that at the dress comes in children sizes. and the largest the dress could be is about 3 sizes to small for where I am now.

Black and Fuchsia Baby Doll Dress

This is how the dress is supposed to look

I thought to myself 3 sizes to small pshhhh that is sooo doable I could totally fit in this thing in one month.

Black and Fuchsia dress, my two favorite colors

 

Three weeks before the party and nothing, I had dropped 6 lbs but that is nothing compared to what I was supposed to have lost so major fail.

Obviously this dress is a No Go

3 weeks to the party

 This is where I have it

Yesterday I knew that the only way this dress was going to fit, 

was if I cut off my 30LB gut and chopped half my tits off I may have a chance. 

In order to face the sound of music I had to buy another dress. 

So i went to my favorite back up place (I have needed many back ups all Summer Long) Davids Bridal and got myself a dress that looks very similar to the dress with some minor changes. 

Most importantly the dress fit =)

The Back Up Dress

I hope this works out and that I am not too much of a disappointment, but you can't help but feel like a loser for not being able to make the goal with all this time.

Only time will tell if this all works out but I will enjoy myself not matter what.

Here Requierdo for the Feista